Motivation and Inspiration by Peter Mbada: It takes two to tango

It takes two to tango

A peep in the bedroom

This Friday marks our 10^th wedding anniversary; a decade of adventure! It’s been an interesting 10 years with breathtaking highs and challenging lows; but above all we can shout Ebenezer, thus far the Lord has helped us (1 Samuel 7 v 12). A lot of growing has definitely taken place and the two kids are a sure testimony of the increase. She was a size 32 when we started off and now all those size 32 clothes are just souvenirs to remind us of where she has been in terms of weight. Believe it or not, I still weigh exactly the same as on our wedding day! Shows I have been giving her the best portions, isn’t it!?

Ten years down the line I am still to win my argument about making the bed. Each time I make the bed I have to deal with a dozen pillows of all sizes and shapes; which I have to throw on the floor every evening and back on the bed every morning! I have argued from day one that we should make the bed only once a week or so, so that we save ourselves the trouble of repeating the process everyday; after-all nobody will ever see it. I guess, since I will never win on this one, I will have to do what every good husband will do – hide the big pillows!

At least over the 10 years I have mastered where to put my socks. They used to accumulate in the shoes and she had to deal with my tempers every morning as I screamed as to why she doesn’t take care of my socks; I could only locate one sock each of a different colour; until she devised a good strategy – provide a bin within throwing distance!

It’s been fun! Marriage is what you make of it. It takes two to tango; but it takes 3 to make the marriage work: you and your spouse plus the Holy Spirit!

Mbada United

I never realized until we got married that we have such different characters with my wife. Most of the conflicts we have had in the 10 years arose from our differences, until we realized that instead of us taking advantage of our differences to create a powerful team we were allowing the devil to take advantage of the differences to create conflict. God specifically brought us together with our differences so that we can complement each other and form a strong Mbada United Team. I can imagine where we would be if my wife was exactly the same as me - quiet, reserved but full of energy. We will both be spending all the time writing and traveling with no-one to attend to the finer details of life. Her presence, with all the differences, made the difference in our team – Mbada United. That has made us a winning team – a team that’s destined to succeed! Don’t be scared of differences. Don’t allow your differences in character or views to separate you; use them to your advantage to build a strong multi-view, multi-talented team. Don’t compete but complement each other. Recognize the importance of each person’s contribution to the team. Their uniqueness and difference brings an important and valuable aspect to the team. You have heard of the paradox of love: the two shall become one; and yet remain two. The union of love is not meant to create a uniform. The two become one and yet recognize and preserve their uniqueness, individuality and higher purpose for life. Love does not force conformance; but ‘Love is patient and is kind; love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails’ (1 Corinthians 13 v 4 – 8).

Win-win or no-deal

In all our arguments and debates we have refused to accept a compromise. Compromise brings compromised results; results that make both of you half-happy! A compromise is a lose-lose solution that makes each of you lose something dear in order to agree; just like when Solomon wanted to cut and divide the baby into two so that he can please both women that were fighting over one child (1 Kings 3 v 25). Win-win is always the best solution. We have always strived for win-win. A win-win solution is a solution that settles for what is best for the team. Settling for nothing less than a win-win has worked for us to create the winning team. Strive for win-win always – it’s possible. Win-win or else no deal! I know I might have confused you with this one. You can re-read again this paragraph to understand and I mean just that – a win-win is the best solution for you.

In hind-sight

If only the wheels of time could be wound back twelve years; if only I could be allowed another opportunity to start all over again; an opportunity to choose again from all the damsels that grace the face of the earth. With all the knowledge and insight I have acquired thus far, to be given another chance to choose another woman who will walk down the isle to meet me and marry me. If only I could be given that benefit to do it with all the knowledge and understanding I now have and all the wisdom I have accumulated in the ten years; your guess is as good as mine – I will choose Jackie again – no doubts not regrets. She helped make me and she provoked me to pursue my purpose for life and today I can confidently say ‘But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain;’ (1 Corinthians 15 v 10). She has earned her a diamond!

Calvary love

Peter Mbada

I am sincerely grateful to all those that have continued to support by purchasing, distributing and telling others about ‘Destined to Succeed’. It means a lot. May the Lord bless you abundantly.